Visiting the AIDS Memorial Quilt
January 23, 2012The squares are bigger than you could even imagine. They command the room, the space.
What a powerful source of memory, of honoring those who we have lost to AIDS.
As I have written about a few times already , I have been exploring the many squares on the AIDS Memorial Quilt, and have been remembering especially two men who were important to my Mom, to our community, and to my perception and experience with the death tolls from AIDS. Almost as soon as I learned, via their website, that the Quilt is stored and the foundation headquartered here in Atlanta, I called, left a message, and asked to visit–especially to see the two squares I had been pouring over, Craig’s and Parnell’s.
Richie, a veteran of the NAMES Project Foundation, called me back after the MLK holiday weekend, and I planned a visit for today. This morning I spent some time crying, touching the quilt, reading the many lovely words, poems, thoughts contributed to each of their squares, and learned more about these two men via the wonderful memorial that this Quilt provides. It provides a way to remember, in a very communal and large-scale way, yet allowing for quite private and personal time with those who are being remembered. Richie pulled up the information on these two squares, 2744 (Parnell’s) and 5508 (Craig’s), so I could see where they had traveled, where they had been requested, and where and when they were each on display.
I learned that the demographic who has been contributing the most new squares–they receive on average about 400 new squares each year–are nieces. Girls my age, who have memories, however clear or unclear, of their uncles who died while we were young, and who have now reached the age in which remembering them properly has been an important part of grieving, or becoming an adult, of understanding how this illness has devastated families. I am exactly that generation, that demographic, though I have to consider myself an honorary niece only.
I made a donation in honor of my parents, who have been caring, compassionate examples for my brothers and me, and in honor of Craig and Parnell, obviously, and for each of their families. The wonderful (small) staff gave me a book of some quilt squares, and a calendar I have already poured over several times. I felt so welcomed, and depending on how much longer I am in Atlanta, I want to help quilt squares together as they need me. Seeing a modest and hard-working organization and staff like that also reminds me that I am in the right field; non-profits, working to educate and engage the public, and ensuring that life has been well-spent by taking care of the issues that matter most.
Take a moment to drink in how enormous each panel of this quilt is. Each square is intentionally 3 feet by 6 feet, about the size of a human grave. I was not prepared for the commanding presence, and for how much more meaningful seeing each component up-close truly is.
Margi Peterson Wasson
Jan. 31, 2012I hope this gets to Jessie Edens…my response is to her article…
Jessie, I can’t tell you how moved we have been at your response to seeing Parnell and Craig’s AIDS Quilt panels…! My sister, Beth, shared with us your letter and this website, as well as your phone conversation – how wonderful of you to take the time not only to do all this, but to also contact us to let us know about it. You sound like a very special person!! I would love to talk with you about it all – I worked with AIDS-infected and affected people for 10 years after Parnell died – first doing social work/case management and later working on a research grant aimed at secondary prevention of HIV transmission. Needless to say, losing Parnell changed my life/all of our lives, in immeasureable ways! I remember your Dad (I confess that I had a crush on him in Junior High!) and less clearly, your Mom – I was 5 years older than Par – but I remember him mentioning your Mom fondly. I hope you noticed that the last photo of Par’s square in your article includes a square that your Aunt Pam’s mother, Kay, did for us. The connect between our families goes back to before Parnell’s birth, when Kay and Phil were our next-door neighbors in Quinnesec. It is a small world! Please contact me, if you can – would so like to speak with you!