Go Vote. Because "Your Excuse Sucks"

I'm at work on what should be a national holiday, because I can barely concentrate on work anyway. I'm an NPR junkie and I love to learn, and I especially like to hear lots of opinions and reasons and viewpoints on issues that matter on this planet. (And yes, I mean this planet, because what we do in the United State affects a heck of a lot of people. And issues like climate change and human rights are not delineated by political boundaries.) And so in between actual work, I'm voluntarily overdosing on reports, tweets, maps, charts, editorials, pictures, and posts on the internet about the election -- we sit here on the brink of finding out who will run our country for the next four years. I am anxious and excited and figgity about the whole thing. I mean, is this how people get when they're rooting for a team in a big, important game? (Except, this game is 10000000 times more important in the long run, and, oh yeah, it actually matters for life.)

YOUR EXCUSE SUCKS.  This is the most brilliant thing I've seen. A snarky and simply-stated collection of reasoning against all those stupid excuses everyone makes about why they aren't going to vote.

"My vote doesn't matter in my state."

Response:

There's a word for someone who only participates if they know they can win: asshole.

Ask  anybody who lives in a swing state, you don't want that many robocalls! If you think your state will go your way regardless, for the love of God, go make sure!

So let's get this straight: You’re saying your vote doesn’t count. And not voting at all definitely doesn’t count. So that means…

You're probably right. You and the 80 million other Americans who use the same line of logic surely aren't affecting anything at all.

"My not voting is a vote against the system."

Hey, just like the people of North Korea. They vote by not voting every day!

Once every four years you decide to take a political stand? You’re like the Olympics of self-righteousness.

That’s the spirit. You staying home on Tuesday will surely force the powers that be to RETHINK THE CONCEPT OF DEMOCRACY.

Great, and the future tyrant that will one day enslave your grandchildren thanks you for your vote.

"I don't have time to vote."

Do you know what pour-over coffee is? If so, you definitely have time to vote.

There are people in countries around the world who wait in line under threat of physical violence for 12 hours in order to vote. But please, tell me more about your time constraints.

Sure, time is money. But you know what else is money? Money! Specifically the amounts of it you could gain or lose based on the outcome of this election.

I hope the reason you don't have time is because you're too busy creating 500,000 more jobs. Otherwise whatever else you're doing should probably wait.

"Politicians are all the same anyway."

That's not true at all. There are actually 13 animatronic models for public officials. [Jess: LOL!]

The same in that they all have the power to directly affect our lives and their jobs are 100% dependent on our approval? Yes, in that way they are all the same.

"Nobody aligns with my views."

In that case, now's a perfect time to start your political career. Go ahead, write your name in, hotshot.

Yeah, well sometimes a restaurant doesn’t have whatever weird thing it is you like to eat, but you order something anyway because that’s what your body needs to keep functioning

Yes, yes, yes! We have the right to vote, and many people live under threats and violence and fight for this right, and yet it is still out of their reach. Egypt, anyone? And I agree, if you are busy creating 500,000 more jobs or working to solve our energy issues and fix global starvation, then maybe, I'll excuse you.

You have very few legitimate excuses NOT to vote today. Go right now!